Brittany Krystantos (00:07.052)

Welcome to the Dear Brittany Show. This is a podcast where you'll hear everything I always want to say and everything we're all thinking. I know it's you too. So get ready for a raw slice of reality. I'm your host, Brittany Christantos, and I am an author, speaker, mental health advocate, and host of a mental health series. I am very proud to say I have made an impact on the mental health of others for a decade now. Ask me, talk to me, tell me what we need to figure out for you.

 

Brittany Krystantos (00:40.044)

Are you tired of messy mornings, waking up super early in the morning to make a fresh smoothie for the day? Only to struggle with pouring it into a bottle and drinking it an hour later when it's stale. Blend Quick is the world's first mason jar style portable blender. Blend Quick's minimalist, modern and sleek design creates a fashion statement while serving you silky smooth nutrition, rich fresh smoothies.

 

or protein shakes without the hassle of bulky blenders or messy cleanup. It's spill -proof, drinking design makes it truly portable. You can literally blend and sip your fresh, delicious and healthy smoothies at the gym, in the car, work or while attending meetings or dropping kids at school. In addition to smoothies and shakes, Blend Quick can be used to make baby food, dips, salsas,

 

salad dressings, cocktails, and more. Say goodbye to the hassle and the inconvenience of the traditional blenders and hello to the convenience of Blend Quick. Wow, did I need that today? Start my morning with a fresh smoothie. That would have been amazing. On the go! So everyone, promo code 20 % off with code DearBritney. Get your Blend Quick today. BlendQuick .co

 

Brittany Krystantos (02:47.15)

Hello. Hi, I'm all right. I just got up because I'm on the West Coast. I'm eating chocolate to energize myself. Awesome. We love that. My kind of girl. Yes, that's my kind of person too. I want chocolate. This is so easy going. This is like literally a conversation between like three girls. like, I know we never met before, but like we're friends now. We'll have a great time.

 

But this topic is so important because so many of us females think about pleasures but often don't speak up about it. it's like, you can tell me if I'm wrong, Susanna, but it's like a taboo subject and like, I really wanna shed light on that. So let's get straight to it and like not skip the big question that so many are wondering is I can't orgasm. How can I have better sex? Susanna.

 

That's a big topic. My thoughts would be, first of all, if someone says that, have you talked to your partner about what helps you to orgasm by yourself? If you do orgasm by yourself, have you asked them for what you need? And I would start there because a lot of the time women expect that their partners will read their minds or that they can just lay back and have a partner give them an orgasm. And for a lot of people, the turning point is when they

 

take charge of their orgasm and they say, is what I need and this is what you will have to do if you want me to come. So, okay. So basically just take control and tell the man, okay, that's what I want. But what if the guy doesn't like that, a female taking control? I know this is another crazy topic, but right, like maybe there's some men are like kind of intimidated by a female being like, no, I want you to do that. You know, I find sometimes, and I'm going to get a little bit, you know,

 

serious, but I find sometimes it's almost better to take the conversation away from the bedroom. So if you're out and you're doing something else, when you're not in the middle of it, it's better to discuss it. It's more accepted by the male. I think from time to time, it might be better, like easier on them that they don't feel so attacked or told that you weren't having orgasms.

 

Brittany Krystantos (05:08.416)

Yeah, can a man, so you can tell us Susanna, but does a man get upset when you tell him, did an orgasm? is that a thing that happens? Is he intimidated? Is he upset? Is he vulnerable? Or do females just don't tell the man, they just fake it, essentially?

 

It depends on the man. Some men do have egos and have a hard time hearing that. Some men are happy to hear if you say it in a nice way. And probably the gentlest way to say it is not, haven't had an orgasm, but hey, you know what I'd really like if you were to touch me like this and or if we were to bring a toy into the bedroom and phrase it in the positive rather than I don't like what's happening now. Just I would really like if we tried this other thing.

 

And so basically you're saying that like make yourself a little more vulnerable to what your needs, your own needs are and explaining that to them. Is that, is that a little on track with that? Yeah. And phrasing it in a fun, low pressure way, like, cool, let's try this thing as opposed to this is not fun for me. I, I, know, over the, over time I've realized that, I think it's also our responsibility a little bit.

 

You know, we have to take control of what we need. Yeah. You know? That's true. And Nikki, I mean, since you're talking, have you ever had a time where like you didn't orgasm with someone? Absolutely. Absolutely. But I think it's also, you know,

 

Listen, you're going to get together with a partner. It's going to be brand new. You're not going to be like, you know, hey, right. You're going to have to, right. You have to ease into everything and you have to feel comfortable and you have to feel vulnerable. You know, you have to feel at ease. It's going to take time. And I think it's something you work together and you talk with each other and move forward. And of course, never making them feel like they're attacked. You know, I agree with that. And

 

Brittany Krystantos (07:11.746)

I know we talked a little bit about the whole fake orgasms thing, but are there misconceptions when it comes to female pleasure? Do you think so? A common misconception is that women should be able to all orgasm through intercourse. And a lot of the time we see foreplay as something to do just to warm someone up to intercourse, but don't do it to the point of an orgasm.

 

So I'd say that's the biggest misconception is that you can just finger her or lick her clit two times and then, you know, and then go to intercourse and that will work when I recommend it. It doesn't have to be before, although I think before intercourse is a good time to orgasm because then there's no pressure on the intercourse, but it could be after or it could be during if someone has a toy or wants to use their hand or their partner's hand. But,

 

Clitoral stimulation, that's the most important thing I think people need to know is that that's usually necessary. Okay, I think that also the position of your own body, knowing your own body and almost being in the correct position so that you can hit the clitoris as you're having sex. I'm ask a really dumb question. You know? I'm gonna ask a really dumb question, so don't judge me guys. It's never a dumb Where is the clitoris? come on. like, I think that you have to get a mirror right now.

 

and go right to the bathroom. No, we're not doing that. I want to find a It's like a little pea. So it's not like in your vagina, it's like up? It's a few inches above the vaginal opening. So I can screen share with you. could pull up a diagram. Susanna, you are our little hero today. You're my teacher today. Absolutely. You're teaching me here. Absolutely. I'm a Scorpio, so I know exactly where my clitoris is. Okay?

 

Scorpios know exactly where everything is down there, because that's where happiness comes from. Is that Nikki? Yes, it is. What about Pisces? I once dated a Scorpio. He was very sexual. We're the craziest. What about Pisces? Are Pisces crazy? I don't know anything about Pisces. Are you crazy? I guess I could be deep down. Yeah. like, had to, I...

 

Brittany Krystantos (09:30.306)

I'm more on the shy side, but when it comes to the bedroom, I can be more crazy. So what are you telling me? You're never going to drill a sex swing into your room? I won't do that. That won't be you. That won't be me. OK, gotcha. Feet in stirrups is not your situation? No. OK, gotcha. No, no. OK, I'm learning. I'm learning a little bit here. I can't believe I'm learning. We're in the clitoris.

 

clitoris is clitorious. Well, we can say it We'll call yours the clitoris. there we go, everyone. We're getting a dog out and Brittany's getting schooled. There we go. So this is the vaginal opening. This is where a penis or a toy or whatever would go in. And then above that is the clitoris. So there's the clitoral hood, which is the flap of skin over it, which is probably what you would touch. Because touching the clitoris directly is often too intense.

 

but it's between the labia and this is the urethra, the hole that you pee out of. wow, I'm learning So I didn't really actually know where the urethra was. So you learned something today. I'm learning today too. Now I have a question for you, Susanna. The clitoris is that piece, that little piece, it's like a little ball, but isn't it also, there's also two like fingerlings that go down. Two fingerlings? I don't know how to explain it. have a diamond view for you.

 

It's clitoris. Right, I see. I know my anatomy and physiology. She really goes looking in her own body. Yeah, I'm not sure if that's here, but you can't see it. But it's these legs that wrap around the vagina. So that's why some women can orgasm through intercourse is because of the internal clitoris. Now I'm going to see if I can find that. Okay, sounds We're learning so much today. Yeah, listen.

 

We want to help everyone. can. know, our sista's out there have a good life. think if there's any men watching this right now who don't know how to use their penis, they can watch this diagram. So true. And learn from our girl here, our specialist, Susanna Weiss. Yes. So, okay, this is the internal claris. So you'll only see this part at the top and that's what people touch directly.

 

Brittany Krystantos (11:41.922)

But the reason that internal stimulation can feel good is because part of the clitoris wraps around the vagina. It has these legs and these bulbs. And the more engorged they become and the more responsive they are. Okay. All right. Well, that, heard that this is

 

You know, and I'm 50 years old and I just learned this. thought it was just the little clitoris. That was it. I'm going to call my mom later and go, mom, I learned where the clitoris is. I'm saying it right. clitoris. Well, you said clitoral. You said clitoral. I know where it is. And I learned where my body part is today. So that is accomplishment. Yes, absolutely. That is so good. Thank you for showing us that diagram. I mean, I think that's so great for everyone to know that. And like even for the men watching right now, it's like.

 

Yeah, here's how to make a girl cum. Yeah, and there's a lot involved, I think. There's a lot of different aspects to this. So it's good that we... I'm glad Susanna was able to pull up the diagram so quick. Yeah. It's great. And so, after now, we know kind of what we're going after right now, where it is. So my question now is, can you explain now the psychology with female orgasm? Does it have to be like...

 

a female connection, how, what's the, what are we thinking like to orgasm? Like, you know, like tell me out here, like for me, I can't, I can't just like have sex with any random person. I need to have a connection. I need to know them. I need to feel safe. Safe, safe. That's the word. Maybe that's what it is. And that's how you're vulnerable. Yeah. And you're able to have an orgasm cause you're safe and you feel, you feel okay. Right? You're allowed to, you're opening your inhibitions, not allowed. You're opening your inhibitions.

 

Yeah, I'd say feeling relaxed is very important, like quieting your mind. A lot of people can't orgasm because they're thinking about something else. Or maybe they're worried about whether their orgasm, which becomes a self perpetuating cycle. And the other piece is being very turned on. So knowing what fantasies turn you on, asking your partner, for instance, if there's somewhere on your body that you like to be touched before your genitals are touched. So you're extra turned on, like for some people.

 

Brittany Krystantos (13:58.818)

that's the neck or the breasts or the hips. And yeah, and just some people like to fantasize when they're with a partner in order to increase their arousal or dirty talking or something to bring your mind into the moment if you have a very busy mind. that's my that's my forte is the dirty talk. Nikki. Yeah, I think I can dirty talk myself and have an orgasm. It's wonderful. Yes, you have to have your own thoughts.

 

That's hilarious. You're not saying anything. I'm not, I just got quiet for Did I go a little too far? No, it's perfect. Okay, just making sure. thing though, I'm really happy that we're talking about this because for me, it's always been something that like even my family, like you don't talk about sex. Like my mom's side of the family, she's like more old fashioned and she's like, you don't talk about that, right? And it's like for me, I've always been shy on the whole like sex topic. So I'm really happy we're talking about this because you know, there's nothing to be shy about, right?

 

This is our body. This is our how we came to to to live to be as human beings I mean we shouldn't be shy and we shouldn't feel shame and we we shouldn't have any Inhibitions really but we do I mean we are humans so I'm we're this today Yeah, and what would you say Susanna? The biggest thing, you know to help raise awareness for females who are feeling shy about sex. Like what can we say to like

 

remove that stigma, that taboo thing that I have, obviously, because I'm getting like blushy and shy when I saw the diagram there. was like, my God, that's a vagina. saw you blush. Right, I'm blushing. I think a way to overcome that is to get fired up about the fact that female pleasure is so taboo and the fact that women are having fewer orgasms than men and

 

Once you realize that that's not fair, or at least for me, then you feel motivated to talk about whatever you have to talk about to rectify that situation. Because the alternative of us talking about it is us not coming. And that isn't fair. It's not fair. then for a female to not come, I know men, when they don't come, they get blue balls or something. They get backed up. Do we get that?

 

Brittany Krystantos (16:14.7)

Yeah, some people call it blue walls where the blood flows to the vagina and then there's no orgasm. For some people, they actually say it hurts. Other times, I think most often it's just a word for I'm horny and I can't release that, which can be frustrating. I don't think it's specific to men. I think men just feel more entitled to pleasure, so they complain about it more.

 

that's interesting. Yeah. And Nikki, have you ever had a time where like you're having sex and you're like, this is so freaking awful. Like I want to like stop. like you're like, you know, not often, but if I was drinking, it kind of slows down everything and I'm just not going to get there. You know, I'm just like, I just can't be bothered. You know, in my head, I can't get myself there. I'm just like, kind of let it go. I'm like, all right.

 

We're done with this. We're done. Yeah, sometimes it's been challenging. Over a lifetime, over a lifetime. Yeah, that's good. Yeah, there could be times where like you're doing your psych, I'm not liking this anymore. Like, we stop or like look at the clock? Like, it is over with. And does that happen? Like, does that happen where people get to a point where, you know, mentally they just, you know what, it's not working tonight. I'm just going to kind of let it go. Is that also something that happens?

 

Yeah, like you said, if you've been drinking or a number of factors, if your mind is elsewhere, I think regardless of gender, I think that happens to all kinds of people. And I think that's great if you can say that rather than faking it because there is an expectation that sex has to end with an orgasm, which is why a lot of people fake it. So I think we should normalize being able to say, I don't think it's happening for me tonight and we'll try again next time.

 

That is so powerful. don't think it's happening for me tonight. Instead, I'd be like, this is so good. I keep doing this. I don't think it's going to And then you're being honest with your partner. And I think that's more important too. Part of it is being honest. mean, truly letting them in to know who you are and what you're all about. And it might not happen every single time. So I agree. I have a question for you. This is going to the same kind of topic, but moving on.

 

Brittany Krystantos (18:28.674)

The is, I'm not into him anymore. People may say they have a little interrelationship and it's like, I'm not into him anymore. You're married for so long and then you're just looking at him one day and you're like, shit, things have faded over time and I can't get turned on anymore. Why do people kind of like, it's kind of the same thing, you fall in love, fall out of love, but you kind of have this attraction for years, you're married, say, and then you're just, one day you look at him and you're like, my God, this guy doesn't do it for me.

 

Is that a thing that happens? Yeah, that is really common. I think that happens for a few different reasons. One is people sometimes try less hard when they take someone for granted, when they've been with someone for a while, they're like, well, I don't need to impress you anymore. Another is just attraction fades with familiarity, especially for women. A lot of women say...

 

that they just being with the same person for a while, they lose their sex drive. And so I think some ways, some people actually open their relationships for this reason, but some other ways to do that would be to spend some time apart to create less familiarity and to get back that spice of being mysterious to each other, or just trying a little bit harder like you did in the beginning, taking each other on dates and.

 

dressing up and acting as if you're not taking each other for granted or going on a vacation together, getting to know each other in a new setting and slowing down so that you can connect sexually or bringing in a new thing like a sex toy or role playing into the bedroom. Recently, I saw an ad, I was just on Facebook or whatever, social media, and it said, order this book, date me again.

 

And it's like 365 different kinds of things to rev up your relationship all over again and reintroduce yourselves. So somebody was very on track with this kind of situation because I think it's definitely necessary. I mean, I've been married for 25 years, but with him for 31. Now I'm very lucky because, you know, we've always been a little bit on the steamy side. It's a little bit on the...

 

Brittany Krystantos (20:50.808)

hot side, so I'm lucky. But there is times where it does get little dull, so you have to kind of throw some stuff in. And that book was something I looked into. I was like, that's really a great idea. Lots of different options. is. also, I want to talk a little bit more about your book, too, because you have a book.

 

You talk about so much incredible stuff in your book. It's called Subjectified, Becoming a Sexual Subject. And that is such a different intake to Susanna on females and men. There's a quote in your book that is so powerful. I sent the copy and I loved it. But I'm going to read it and then you can tell me, expand your thoughts on it. You said, this is the basic structure of a sentence. This is the basic structure of the world. Boy meets girl.

 

So the story goes, men sees women, he pursues her, he moves her, he proposes to her, he marries her, he may kiss the bride, husband kisses wife, she is kissed, she is taken, she's claimed by him. I know there's a lot of like, there's a mentality to that, that quote, and it's a really powerful statement you said. Can you explain that, like the whole process? Like when I was little too, I always thought that men were gonna come and sweep us off from the fricking horse, like Cinderella story. Absolutely. Be our like shining armor. And I know you're saying opposite, like we can be our own.

 

boss and we can be our own voice. So I would love for you to share that narrative and expand the thoughts on that because I thought it was really interesting. Thank you. Yeah, that line just addresses what the book is unpacking, which is this idea that men are what I call the subject. So I talk about women being objectified by literally being in the object role of sentences like

 

You may now kiss the bride or those sentences that you just read. He wants her, he pursues her. Often in society, we talk about men's desires and men as the driving force in a relationship, as opposed to a woman pursuing what she wants or looking at what she likes or asking for what feels good to her.

 

Brittany Krystantos (23:03.646)

And so this book is about reversing those sentences and talking about how we can make more room for women to be the drivers of relationships or to be agents in their sexuality, to be active in seeking out what pleases them rather than being there for men's pleasure, which is often still how we talk about sex as if it's for men's pleasure and the woman is there to provide the pleasure.

 

I've had times in the past where I've with a guy and it wasn't about my pleasure for sure and he'd be like, let's just fuck or something like that. And it's like, there's no buildup or like, it's just random, right? So I think that what you're saying is so important. Like this mentality that like our whole life is all about the man. The man claims you, the man fucks you, the man, right? The man marries you, the man.

 

kisses you first and it's like no, like what about me? What do I want? Also like why can't the girl kiss the man first? Like that is a cool concept there. So what you're saying is really true and I think that with that if we can change society and change the way that you know women view themselves and men treat the females you know way more people will be confident in their bodies themselves and be happier from what you're saying. I think also like when

 

when you're looking to really have a relationship with a man and be in charge of your own happiness, you need to know what makes you happy first, and that is your own body. And you can't share that with someone else until you understand it yourself. And I find a lot of women don't understand. They just don't understand what's making them tick. And again, that's also where this all comes from.

 

that the man is the one that kisses you and has sex with you and does everything, that you're there for them. But we need to change that, that they're there for us. There you go. Yeah, they can, they That's true. I love that. think that's incredible, that perspective change. We need I know what you're doing is really great. And I wanna know, for all the viewers listening to this, because I'm telling you, they're gonna wanna read your book.

 

Brittany Krystantos (25:16.556)

Where can they find the book? know, like, where can they find it? And can you share a little bit more about your journey even, like your experience in the field of sexology? I'm curious too, like, how did you get started in this? Yeah, how did this all, how did you do this? You have a lot of sex, like, what happened? Well, so people can get the book on Amazon or any...

 

I know it's in bookstores, but I can't say, I'm not sure exactly which one. So safest bet is just search for it on Amazon. Becoming a Sexual Subject by Susanna Weiss. How did I get started in this field? First as a writer, I just wanted to write about my own experiences in dating and I was

 

I was working in marketing and just started writing for fun on the side, but then it took off and people wanted it. I just wanted to work with people more rather than just writing. I got certified as a sex educator, trained as a sex coach, and did a master's in sexual health. Part of the reason that I wanted to do this was because

 

For about seven years, I had never had an orgasm with a partner. Like from the time I started, became sexually active at 18 to 25. And then I decided to make it my project to learn how to orgasm with a partner. And then once I figured that out, I wanted to help other people do the same and close the orgasm gap where men are having more orgasms than women.

 

And so I'm glad that we're talking about that very topic. Yeah, I'm glad we're talking about it too, because it's so important. Because you're just one of that person in the world that didn't have an orgasm for seven years. There's so many other young females out there who aren't feeling pleasure, who aren't feeling confident in themselves, and are also in abusive and horrible relationships. And I think that what you're doing, your work in the field is really important, because that

 

Brittany Krystantos (27:23.416)

Pleasure and all that is so important and it's part of mental health. I talk about mental health in my life and I talk about helping people with mental health, but I never realized how much our bodies and our female pleasure can relate to our mental health, right? I never understood it until obviously this topic actually today. I've always been the shy one on it, so now I'm really happy we did talk about it because...

 

You know, we need to continue to talk about it. absolutely. Everything here runs everything else, right? I mean, it's all connected. So, you know, how you're doing mentally in life and how the stress, the bills, the kids, the house, the job, the friends, the family, everything can affect you getting to the point where you're going to be, you know, pleasured, released, satisfied. You know, it's going to be one big...

 

One big what? Pretzel? Pretzel. That's a different intake of it. We're talking, I think we're hungry. You have chocolate. I like pretzels. You're talking about cookies. We're talking about pretzels, you know. I want right now, I want like a Dairy Queen McFlurry. You're thinking big. You know like Oreos in it. That's a big one. my God. I love it. I want one of those. Yeah.

 

So hungry. Another thing too, we're talking about cultural shifts and everything. There is something that we didn't talk yet and I really want to talk about it is this new thing is nipples, like free the nipples. So Kim Kardashian we know has like in her line Skims, she sells a bra with an implanted nipple in it. Like people are now wanting to share, to show their nipples and like growing up, if I didn't wear a proper bra, my mom would be like, even though my mom's like, your bra is like, you see your nipples and your tank top like.

 

go change. But then my younger cousin, who is 20, literally went shopping with me with no bra on and a tank top, and you could see everything. So she's like, it's a trend. It's a nipple trend. she doesn't care. I love that. what's your thoughts on this whole free the nipple? I mean, I haven't worn bras in a long time. think I'm one of the people who stopped during the pandemic because it's like, what is the point? It's just

 

Brittany Krystantos (29:45.494)

At least for me, I feel like it's more to make other people comfortable than for my own comfort. feel it actually like squeezes on my shoulder when I wear a bra and I really don't like it. So my opinion is we should, but unfortunately sometimes I've gotten comments like, you're just like letting them hang out or whatever. Like, so I think the larger culture needs to change if we're gonna, which I think we should be able to be.

 

looser in what we show. Men are allowed to be shirtless, but I think the larger culture around us needs to change in how they treat our shirtlessness or brawlessness because it's still very scary, at least for me sometimes, to show. I don't think I could do what your cousin did and wear something very see -through because we get all of this unwanted attention.

 

Well, to celebrate this podcast that we were going to do this episode today, I decided to go to the grocery store with just like a spaghetti strap on, but with no bra. Today I have a bra. Okay. And I decided, I'm like, you know, I just want to see what's going to happen. So I went to the, was just an in and out thing I needed to do at the store. need to grab one item for my son. And I just, ran in, I ran out, but I, was a black tank top, spaghetti straps, no bra, black.

 

leggings and I had a cross body bag and I just put my head back and my chest out and I'll tell you how many men stared or they were staring people were staring I was got my phone phone you felt amazing I felt fine I'm like you know what I actually felt free I for the first time I I felt like I could get away with this for some reason 2024 seems to be a little less

 

strict, a little less inside the box, a little more outside the box. And you know what? I actually called my mother. She's very American. Okay. And I told her, I said, I went to the store with no bra. I think it was even a little see through my top. So there was a teeny bit of something showing that it wasn't just the nipple. And she said, you're brave. And I'm like, why am I so brave?

 

Brittany Krystantos (32:06.722)

because you're not supposed to do that, Nikki. That's not what you're supposed to do. I'm like, who says? Who says? And you know what? I think I'm gonna do it again. What did she say to that? She said, okay, go for it. Whatever makes you happy at this point, I guess it's all right. my, that is hilarious. And it was all right. I got my item and I walked out of that store and I went to my car and guess what?

 

I also get the pulling from the bras and I can't stand it anymore. Sometimes after four o 'clock, I'm done with the bra. You know what I mean? Done. So I think Kim Kardashian was onto something, but I think she should have sold the no bra bra. How about that? No, yeah. The no bra bra. The no bra bra. I was just going to say that after this episode, I had a thought, a feeling that Nikki was going to go somewhere without a bra on and...

 

I'm shocked you're even it. I'm gonna take it off right after we're done. Yes, I didn't get to tell you about it actually. I planned on telling you with Susanna, so I'm happy we got to tell you the story. I'm glad that you are not feeling pressured to wear something you don't want to wear. No, I'm getting even worse with age. I'm starting to really feel, I have cellulite all over my legs, no problem. I'm gonna wear a short skirt, whatever. Someone doesn't like it, they don't have to look. Right? That's great.

 

I need to be more like Nikki here. I'm learning, I'm learning. This is honestly such an important topic and is there any last words of things we didn't talk about when it comes to female pleasure? Like females control themselves before we almost end the episode?

 

One piece of advice I'd give a woman who wants to orgasm with a partner more easily is to be really specific in your feedback. And I actually haven't had anyone have a problem with this where I'm just like, please touch me more to the left, more to the right, faster in circles, side to side, the more or even here, can I show you how I do it? And not in front of them. Okay, more specific that you can get. And I've worried that people would think I was being bossy. But one guy said,

 

Brittany Krystantos (34:18.424)

How else would I know? Every woman's different, so how else would I know? So if someone responds in a negative way, that is their issue and probably a red flag if they're so against being given instruction, because how else do they know? Right. Yeah, how would they know? We're all different. Some people like neck kisses, some people like dirty talk, some people don't. I'm not going to share fully what I like because any guy listening to this will have to. Yeah, then they'll know what turns you on.

 

I think that's really incredible. This has been a fun episode. Honestly, I got to say to both of you, this has been such a fun episode. I didn't expect to have so much fun and learn where the clit is. I know. That is insane. I learned something today. Now I'm going to call my mom and say, mom, guess what? She's going to be like, really, Bretty? I can hear her saying Before we end this, where can our listeners find you if they want to get in touch with you?

 

Where can people find Susanna Weiss? They could find me on Twitter, Susanna Weiss, S -U -Z -A -N -N -A -H -W -E -I -S -S, or on Instagram, the reverse of that, Weiss Susanna, or just Google me, Susanna Weiss, or my website, susannawise .com, or Google my books, Subjectified, Becoming a Sexual Subject. Hopefully, I hope you'll have links, because I don't know if everyone will remember that.

 

We're going to share the links and everything and everyone will be able to click it and follow you and learn more if they have questions about their own vagina. I'm sure they can ask you. And really though, this has been such an enlightening and incredible conversation. I'm telling you, I learned so much today. So thank you so much, Susanna, for being here and for being so vulnerable to share your work and for doing the work you do in the field. This is important to so many females and young females. So thank you for everything you do. And let's...

 

Really though, let's remove the stigma and taboo with sex and I'm going to be the first one to try to remove that stigma now today. And let's be confident in our bodies and embrace our sexuality. Thank you so much just for being here everyone.

 

Brittany Krystantos (36:49.986)

My girl, Nikki here, Nikki. Yes. What did you think of that episode? I actually was really happy to talk to her, Susanna Weiss, because she had some very interesting views, you know, with how we approach ourselves with our partners. And it was, I think, very influential to the people that are listening to the podcast. Well, I can just say one thing. Yeah.

 

the highlight of this episode was one thing. What? For me. I got to learn where the frick the clit was. I had no idea the clit was so up there. I thought the vagina is the vagina and the clit was somehow in there. I don't know. didn't failed. I failed sexology, whatever you call it, sex ed. Sex ed. Sex ed in elementary school.

 

and I had no idea where the clip was. You've never taken a mirror and gone to look. What about when you learned how to use tampons? No, I just shot the tampon in there. That was it? Yeah. So the highlight was I learned where the clip was, I will not just need me a little bit of a door head here. And I guess you could say I'm a donut. You're 26. I'm a donut. You are a donut. You know why we're saying that? Because today I was talking to someone who's British and the person called me a donut and I said,

 

Are you calling me a donut? But the person said, no, it's slang for, drum roll please, idiot. my God. So I never knew that. Nikki walked in the room today. I said, Nikki, you're such a donut. And she goes, you're calling me fat? I said, am I chunky? I'm kind of chunky, but you know, that's who I am. So I said, no, Nikki, I learned something really cool. So today I learned where the clip was and I learned we're a donut.

 

And British slang is idiot an idiot or someone I can't believe somebody called you that it was so far from an idiot It was a joke conversation. I was being I was being my normal self. I was being really I was being funny I was being an idiot on purpose. So that's why I kind of like that. You know going back to the topic here of we're talking about female pleasure And the topic is I can't orgasm right? How can I better sex right, right?

 

Brittany Krystantos (39:04.384)

And Susanna Weiss was here to talk about sex ed basically. And just to recap everything that we learned today, know, becoming a lot like allowing your partner to make you feel safe and make you feel that you can actually release your own tensions and body with someone you trust. And I think you get to a point where if you're really feeling that you can't

 

get what you need out of the pleasure point of your relationship. Talk to them somewhere else besides the house, somewhere else besides the bedroom. This is making me think about something. So the other day, Nikki posted on TikTok a video because she had really bad back pain during sex. She told the person in the past to throw me on the bed like a wonton. And so Nikki was not afraid to tell her partner.

 

Whatever this was to throw her on the bed like a wonton because she had back pain and she was like, so that's making me realize too that like, you know, Nikki had back, I'm using you as reference here because I'm not using myself. Nikki had back pain and she was not afraid to tell her partner that her back hurt and they had to switch positions. Right. That's basically what happened. You can watch the TikTok Nikki Steel Official. can watch the TikTok. But follow me. This, you know, this was so interesting because

 

So many females go through the struggle, right? They don't know how to their partner that they're not liking it. They even fall out of love and out of attraction to their partner. And I think what Susanna was saying today is females need to be more strong in themselves and in their voice and their bodies to be like, I'm not enjoying this. I'm not down for this. Like I...

 

I know that's something that we need to change in the whole nipple culture, like free the nipples. Well, it's changing. It's actually changing. is. We're able to have a louder voice now and not feel intimidated by talking. And I think more women need more women. And women need women so that we can discuss things. Because I find that we're safe with women if we have someone that we're safe to talk to, a good group of women.

 

Brittany Krystantos (41:21.986)

that don't judge you and that help you along or that have similar issues. It's great. It's great to have that kind of circle around you. I agree. Support system. I think that it's important that the whole sex conversation, orgasm conversation is not the stigma or taboo situation anymore because like I said so many times, I'm like, don't really want to do this episode.

 

I'm shy, I'm embarrassed, but like screw that, I'm not embarrassed. We have vaginas, you have penis men, and we have sex and it's a normal thing. Right, and that's how we came here to this earth. Like this is how we get - Mommy and daddy met. Right, and this is how we get humanity to grow. How is this something that should be taboo in any way? It shouldn't be. It shouldn't be. It's normal to be human, right? And Nikki, you're -

 

showing other females that it's okay to speak up. I'm speaking up. I'm letting it all go on tip top. little bit of something that you've done, experienced or something here? Like it worked, it wasn't great, you spoke up or what can we do to to the audience? Because Nikki tells me everything and... Pretty much. I'm just very honest. I say it like it is and if it's not working for me, we switch it. And if it's not working for him, we switch it. And I just...

 

I'm at a point where I've decided that you get one life and you have to enjoy yourself. And that means on every aspect, on every level. So if it's going to be a challenge in the bedroom, then you need to find exactly what's going to work for you. Or find your penis. I love her. Well, sometimes you're stuck with the penis you have.

 

No, I'm just kidding. No, I mean the girl find a new penis meaning that she finds a new guy. I know. I'm just joking. guys can't find a new penis. my God. Maybe they can in today's world. But I, I've, I've, because I'm so out there as my brother in law calls me, he calls me out there. and I am out there. I'm very confident in talking and what I need. So I would like to share that with our viewers that it is something you really should try to.

 

Brittany Krystantos (43:35.744)

find a voice with so that you're happy because again you live one life. Yeah we live one life and for anyone that wants to see Nikki Steele's know TikTok where can they find you? Nikki Steele official on TikTok N -I -K -K -I -S -T -E -E -L -E -O -F -F -I -C -I -A -L

 

and we are enjoying doing the TikToks. She got famous already guys. She's talking everything. We're doing it, you know, and we want you here, we want you there, we want you everywhere, we love you and we are thrilled to have you and we are excited what the future holds because we are absolutely committed.

 

to making people's lives better. Yes, that's what it is. And that's why this topic is so important today, because people need to hear this. And the next episode, they're going to need to hear something else. And I may be a little slightly embarrassed. And I may be a little shy and blushy. And Nikki's going to slap me I'll balance you out a little And say, you've got this, girl. Stop That's right. I'll balance you out. But before we move, I just want to say to everyone who is listening to this to please, take control of your life if you're feeling in a bad situation in your life and you're in a bad relationship.

 

and you're not feeling confident anymore in that, do what you need to do. If you're feeling shy about sex and you haven't had an orgasm, like Susanna said, find what you like and express it to someone. I have to just add one thing. You got it. My mother, she always tells us, the only one that can take care of you is you. Remember that. I love that. I love your mother. We gotta have her on this podcast. we will one day.

 

And so with that, listen to her mother. Take care of you. Until next time, stay curious, stay confident, and keep those questions coming, because we're here to answer it. And stay tuned until next week's episode. This is Brittany Cresanto signing off with my girl, Nikki Steele. OK, bye, everyone. Tired of sugary sports drinks and plain water that falls short.

 

Brittany Krystantos (45:46.424)

Traditional hydration drinks rely on a reactive approach, addressing dehydration after it's already happened. They're often loaded with sugar and sodium, which aren't good for anyone's health goals. Truly Essential offers a proactive solution. Hydration products made with ultra -pure water infused with a blend of essential minerals for superior cellular absorption. Keep your body in balance.

 

Studies have shown that these products offer significantly better hydration than water alone, all without relying on sugar or sodium. Truly essential hydration products are available in three targeted formulas. True hydration, everyday hydration for optimal balance, cellular hydration formulated for athletes seeking peak performance, natural glow nourishes your hair, skin,

 

and nails. For a radiant you, ditch the sugary drinks, discover the difference cellular hydration can make. Visit mytrulyessential .com to find your perfect formula. Wow, do I need this right now? I need to take my health goals to the next level and you do too. So use code BRITNY, that's B -R -I -T -T -A -N -Y for 15 % off your first order.

 

Code Britney will be active until December 31st, 2024. It's a single -use coupon for 15 % off the entire order for all new customers. Visit mytrulyessential .com.

 

That's it for today's episode of Dear Brittany. I'm looking forward to my chai tea latte and cuddles with my dog Charlie. I will be whipping up some new fantastic episodes where we can really dig into it together. Lots of love and until next time, sincerely, Britt.