Transcription

Brittany Krystantos (00:07.052)

Welcome to the Dear Brittany Show. This is a podcast where you'll hear everything I always want to say and everything we're all thinking. I know it's you too. So get ready for a raw slice of reality. I'm your host, Brittany Christantos, and I am an author, speaker, mental health advocate, and host of a mental health series. I am very proud to say I have made an impact on the mental health of others for a decade now. Ask me, talk to me, tell me what we need to figure out for you.

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Brittany Krystantos (00:39.938)

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Dear Brittany, today we're diving into one of the most relatable and sometimes cringe -worthy aspects of firsts. All your firsts. First kiss, first date, first everything. What's your first, Nikki? here we go. First of all, first kiss. I would love to start out with that. First kiss, grade eight. 13, 14 years old, that kind of summer turning into, you know, no, no, not.

Hold on a minute, not grade nine. Let me think. No, no, no. 13, 14. Yeah. Okay. Great. A long time everyone. got it. I'm a fossil. Okay. Let's think back here. first kiss. So I met this boy. I was at the park and, he had just moved in and I think it was like July and, it was beautiful. I remember when I saw him, so cute and he says to me, hi, and he's talking to me.

We sort of just kind of locked eyes and we kept talking. was nice. He was a sweet boy, very sweet and good looking, like I said. Anyways, he introduced me to his brother and I introduced him to my sister because I was watching her. She's younger than me. And we kept meeting at the park over and over and over.

Brittany Krystantos (02:55.546)

And one day the sun was going down, but I decided to stay with him. My sister wasn't there. His brother wasn't there. And we climbed up the part inside the park where you have like a clubhouse kind of thing with a roof. So you're just high up. You know what I mean? little tree house. Yeah. And we were hanging out. We were hanging out and he leaned in and he kissed me and it was a good lip kiss. Like a delicious.

Yes. More. It was like long, like long, like, like that. But it was more like, you know, you're, you're, you're just kidding. Where it was great. Wait, you're a great eight. So you were like 13. And that was like a real, like, eight years old. was a lip kiss, like really lip. He gave me tongue, but towards the end. no, no, but it was nice. He was an excellent kisser.

First of all, I still know him. He's still one of my friends. He has a fabulous personality, a beautiful smile, a great kindness about him. And if I truly could look back on any of my firsts and being that my first kiss was with him, I'm thrilled. At least you know he's clean. He's clean. He's a clean cut, cute, sweet guy. He's just got a great demeanor. He's a great

husband I can see is wonderful with his wife just a beautiful lady he's married to and and he's just sweet he turned out wonderful I'm thrilled that that was my first kiss I remember the first like before I was about to kiss this guy I was so nervous and my friends and I were going on at the time we were grade 9 or something or grade 8 as well probably that year and like there's no

Tik Tok, right? There's no Instagram. think there was only Facebook and on YouTube. And we were looking up how do you kiss a boy for the first time? wow. I that. And they were saying to take an apple, no joke, and pretend the apple and you bite it. And then with the apple that you bit, you have to like pretend that is his lip. No, no joke. We were - a minute. So the apple -

Brittany Krystantos (05:17.998)

The actual apple is open because you've taken a bite out of it. Yeah, you made out with you. so that the opening is like the mouth. Yeah, the mouth or another example was a plate and you just go and you kick, kick, you kiss the plate and lick it a little. Little lick lick. You like, like, It's like when you go out for Chinese food, it's so good. want to lick the plate. Look at it. It's 11 11 on the dot. We were at my friend's house.

in her kitchen and like her dad walked in and all of us, five of us were literally making it with apples. Can you imagine that? And plates. that was my first experience. I kissed an apple. I kissed an apple for the first time. But I will tell you, Nikki, that my first kiss was disgusting. Really? It was so bad. I hate, I don't know if it's just me, but like I hate.

labyrinth. Yeah, I I grossed out by a lot of things. Like if you ask me, my pet peeve is a few things. It's people chewing gum really loud. Yeah. And it's the saliva that you hear and someone's talking and then like kissing the saliva and the grossness of like the tongue, the make out just is not it for me. Well, let me just tell you a little bit of about about a wet kiss story. Okay. I'm at camp. I'm 15 years old. I'm

not a CIT. I don't think it was CIT, counselor in training. I think I was just before that summer and there was a guy and he was one of the staff. So I think he was 18. Ooh la la. Yeah. the older. We had this attraction and when I just saw him for the first, I think week, I don't know what it was, but I was just crazy about him again.

He lives in my area. I know where he lives. He doesn't know who I am, but I know who he is because he wouldn't have remembered me because I was a kid anyways, but he was a kid too. But you know, this wasn't illegal or anything. you were like three years or maybe he was 17. He was 17 and you were, was 15. I'm doing the math in my head and I'm bad at math. So you were like two years younger. Exactly. He wasn't an adult. He was a kid anyways. He was on like one of those like

Brittany Krystantos (07:35.586)

He was on ski or arts and whatever, ceramics. I don't remember what he worked on. I think it was a sport. So was like kayaking or something. Anyway, so he didn't live with the campers. didn't, wasn't a counselor. He was part of head staff. So he had this, his own cabin, his own hut that he shared with another guy on kayak or, you know, water ski or whatever he taught.

and he like kind of lured me into the cabin. that sounds so hot. Yeah. And I sat on his bed. You sat on his bed. I thought you were about to say something else. I was really excited to be there like by myself with him. I was so excited. And the next thing I know he sits down next to me and he's putting a hand up my back, up my neck, around my ears, holding my neck. And all of a sudden he brings me towards him.

And I just see his eyes close and this mouth opens wide like big. Ew. And just suction cups my entire mouth. And all I felt was this water from his mouth, the saliva, the amount of goo that was all over me. It wasn't even a kiss. I was so sickened.

and so disappointed in this kiss and this connection just drained out of me. I was like, That is disgusting. My whole face was just, it wasn't even just wet. It was thick and goo -berry. It was sickening.

And I walked out of there and I kind of just backed away and just kind of went, I think we're going to get caught. We got to go. Cause I just didn't know what to do. What do you say to that? say you're stubborn. Even to this day, I have never, ever had another experience like that. Ever. Never. I've never seen that. I've had a lot of those. I don't know what this guy was watching to teach him how to kiss somebody. He should have watched YouTube and learned how to kiss an apple we didn't have YouTube. mean, this

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you're way younger than me. didn't have anything. All we had if we were lucky was Mad Magazine, like Playboy. If we could steal it from our father's, you know, magazine rack in the bathroom. Because my dad had a whole stack and he would say it's for the recipes and the articles. But we know he wanted to see the boobs and the ass 1000%. I just realized you did not have

any of what I had. I had at least Facebook and YouTube. That's right. You realize I did not have any teaching, anything from internet. We didn't even have that. It wasn't even a thing. a different experience. It's so funny thinking about that. That is hilarious. mean, okay, so we talked about first dates, right? A first kiss, horrible. We didn't talk about first dates yet. We talked about first kisses and first, whatever, first kisses. I want to talk about, you know,

What was your first good, I don't know, what was your first bad date? Or tell us some experiences, some funny things that I can tell you something. Wanna hear mine? yeah, of course. I love hearing yours. Go ahead. Okay, so this is what I started off with. Started off with this, okay? I remember I was like, I don't know, I'm 26 now. And I was about 19. I was a late bloomer. You can say that. And so went on Tinder for the first time.

And there's this guy that wanted to take me out on a date to pizza. And I thought that was really nice. And guess what happened? What happened? We're having them pizza, the pizza we shared because it was like, what? How much is pizza? Back maybe like, what, seven, eight years ago, was probably like $10? Absolutely. Probably more now. Now it's like $50. OK, so guess what? The bill would come. He asked to split it. Come on.

Yeah, this is my first like date. And you're gorgeous. You're a knockout. Like who doesn't want to pay for your pizza? Like I don't get that pizza. It's not like they took you to a steakhouse and it's the first date and they're a kid. They don't have any money. So they, they really just wanted to take you out and they're like, okay, I'll do this. Maybe you just cover the tip. Maybe, you know, okay, fine. But pizza, pizza. And that's not even things. Then after he invites me over back to his place and he goes, hi.

Brittany Krystantos (12:04.846)

Do you want to come back to my place? And I'm first of all, like, I'm this like, I'm still am, I don't do that. Like, I don't go to people's houses. I don't go, like, go back to your place. What Netflix and show? That's not mean. So I took an Uber back home and he's like, well, I'm never seeing you again. Really? And he asked me for the $5. I'm like, take your fricking money. I paid for the bill. Maybe the bill was like around 20 at the time because of.

the drink, think the the drink tax tip, Whatever. But still, maybe the bill was like $20, he wanted to split it, $10 each. I thought it was so ridiculous. And then I kept having such bad experiences. I have had so many. There's this one time I went to a yoga school and there was this guy that was in the yoga school with us and he was a little hippie, right? And I thought he was cute at the time, because I was having my yoga phase, like the natural...

the juice cleanses. was in my whole yoga zen mode. yeah, yeah. You got into that groove. he wanted to go on a date with me. He wanted to take me hiking. And I was like, this is so romantic. So I meet him there and he goes, no disrespect mother nature like that and take your shoes off. We're going hiking with no shoes. You're going commando, no shoes. I was like, sorry, like whatever his name was, I'm not going to do that.

I'm going to wear my running shoes. He wants you to have bare feet in the wilderness. He said to me, he was Jesus and Jesus brought him to life. Like he is the, he reincarnated as Jesus and I should never disrespect him like that. I should have knew that as a sign to not go on this hike. So I said, okay, I'm here for the experience. I'm 19 years old. I'm going to go. And then I went and I got glass in my foot.

my gosh, you actually took your shoes off and you decided to go along with this man? I was an idiot. I wanted to find. wanted to. But he wants you to take your shoes off in the forest? Yeah. Okay. Hold on. You know, you're very daring. I like it. mean, hey, take a chance. You got glass in your foot. Okay. my gosh. And then there is these hiking spots where you had to climb up. You're in the mud at this point and you had to like climb up. We're trying to find the falls.

Brittany Krystantos (14:16.898)

in Hamilton, Ontario and like, you have to climb. And he said, he goes, look at me, I can do it. He's climbing like an animal. I'm really scared at this point, because anyone knows Brittany. We know that Brittany has two left feet, meaning you walk a straight line, you fall. No alcohol, no drugs. I I fall. I hit my head. There's something always wrong. She's klutzy. That's what we call her. I'm klutzy too. I am very klutzy. Last year I broke my foot on the left. This year I was walking through two different houses.

with rocks everywhere and by accident, well, I fell by accident, but my flip -flop broke and it wasn't a cheap flip -flop like a Florida special, you those $5 flip -flops. It wasn't one of those. It was a good brand name and it broke, it flew and I went flying and I smashed my right knee. needed stitches. It was a mess. I'm still not okay. She still can't even walk. She's wobbling downstairs. I go over to my friend's house and she says,

Hold on a minute. Let me get the door for you because I mean you are Nikki. I mean you're going to injure yourself today. I want to make sure you don't at my house. Literally. Anyways, go ahead. I want to hear the rest. He's climbing up like a little like a little bear and you're thinking to yourself, I'm a klutz. What am I going to do here? So then he goes all the way up, but like the idiot doesn't hold like I can't go up. No, I should have went. I should have went first and he should have pulled me up. So he jumps back down like it was nothing.

And then he held me like from my, my, my bum area, my leggings. And he throws me up like, and I'm talking in the air. I'm thrown up in the air. At the time I was, my body was slimmer. I was young and he throws me, Nikki in the air and people were staring at me like, who the hell are you? Are you wet? I just, have a picture. have a visual in my head of you being grabbed by your butt.

And what color were your leggings? The lemon. Yeah, they're like, no, let's say they're pink. Let's pretend I don't really know what they were. Now let's pretend. Let's just make this, you know, make it more fun. It looks like a little bit of a cotton candy. I they're gray or white or like pink. Yeah. Cotton candy ass that kind of thing. It throws you up in the air like a cherry. Like a cherry. Okay, great. Okay. So what happened? Did you land on your feet? I landed on a glass. That's when I landed on the glass. That's when you cut your foot.

Brittany Krystantos (16:39.246)

Yes, Nikki. And he told me that God wanted me to have that injury because God has a plan for me. And that's when I realized I'm a very spiritual girl. I pray every day. you know, I'm very, I'm very spiritual. I believe everything happens for a reason. The universe all up. But let me tell you that that was not God. That was me being dumb. 19 year old, 20 year old believing that I should have went on the hike in the first place. my gosh.

You know what? I'll tell you, I think, I mean, we need these kinds of experiences to teach us what not to do. I think that's why this episode is so important. I agree. is what you don't do if you're 19, if you're young, do not go hiking with no shoes. No matter what and who tells you to do it. No matter if he tells you you're going to be saved, you're going to be blessed your full life. That's a lie. You know, the only one that can take care of you is you. And that is a really, really good

thing to know and live by. Wanna hear the worst part of it? Go for it. the worst part. He goes, there's a little river and if you're from Toronto, if you're from Ontario, you know, like Ontario Lake is not wanting to lie down. The water, especially like the stream, the Hamilton stream. It's toxic. It's poo. Yeah, it's just garbage. not cleansed. It's not purified. It's chemicals. of like going an ocean. Yeah. He goes, we're gonna lie in this ocean. We're gonna lie in this river. It's brown. It's disgusting.

her line is gonna purify us. I'm like, I'm not doing this. I don't have a bathing suit on. I'm in my nice yoga outfit and I'm laying there. like, it smells rotten because it's from the sewer. Yeah, it's garbage. It's garbage. When you actually cross over the bridge to get to Hamilton, you smell Hamilton because Hamilton has always been known to be a sewage kind of filtration town.

And guess the worst part. I took an Uber, which was a hundred dollars from here on Thornhill. my gosh. I was so young and vulnerable. Wow. Was he good looking? No. the best part in this is he didn't believe in washing yourself or your hair or deodorant. He said that he just puts water on it and prays that universe or God, Jesus cleanses him. So he didn't brush his teeth, his hair. It was long blonde, greasy hair. Think like

Brittany Krystantos (19:04.206)

Think like Jesus, but blonde. Where did you find him? Yoga school. Yoga school. That's right. You said that. Yoga school. Well, I won't be going to yoga school. I'm good. Thanks. Yeah. That was an interesting story. I want to tell you the story about my first date. I was 14 years old. First real date. Okay.

car date. This is my first car date. Okay. So my friend, my friend, I'm not going to mention names because I still know her. She was hanging out sleeping over and we had gone to a mall that was very close to the house. And we met a boy that was working for the theater. He was kind of nerdy. He was a little nerdy, but he was sweet. He was nice.

And we went to see a movie by ourselves. We just met him. He worked for the theater. Okay. And he said to me when I walked out, he said, can I get your number? And I said, okay. I said, for what? I was 14. He goes, well, I want to take you out on a date and maybe your friend can come with and I'll get my friend to join us. And we have a car. So the minute we heard that we were like,

we're moving up in the ranks in the world. Now we're being asked out with boys that have a car. So I go home and I had his number as well, phone number at the house, because there's no cell phones. There's none of that. OK, so, you know, when the phone rings, it's on the wall in the kitchen. You know, his little sister answers the phone, you know, hello. OK, Nicky, the phone's for you. And then you have to wait. Go down, whatever. Long and short of it, we made plans. We're going to see him.

that I was gonna see him on the Friday, he was gonna bring his friend. Okay, so I say to my dad, who's sitting in the family room, he's about 250 pounds. God. He's having his rum and coke, he's watching his show. Big dude, big hairy dude. And I looked at him and I went, Dad, guess what? I have a date on Friday with my girlfriend and his friend, the guy, and they're picking us up in their car.

Brittany Krystantos (21:26.294)

And he goes, hold up. And he starts to turn the TV down. And he goes, who are these boys that you're meeting? Who are these boys? And I said, well, I met one at the movie theater. And then he's bringing his friend. He goes, Nikki, I want to meet these boys. Do you want to know why? And I said, why? I realized he's going to want to meet them. But why? Like, what's the, you know?

The scary voice, you know, I want to meet these boys. What? He says, because Nikki, a car is a moving motel. And I went, dad, I'm not going to be doing anything in the car. Well, they're going to want to do something with you, Nikki. So when they come, I want to talk to them. I said, okay. So Friday, my girlfriend came over. We got dressed. We were, you know, having fun, laughing, having a great time. All of a sudden the doorbell rang.

And I went downstairs and I opened the door and I said hi to him. And he said hi and introduced his friend and every everything was great. And then all of a sudden I heard my dad still sitting in the same position because that's where he sat and he goes, let the boys in, tell them to come in and speak to me in the family room. I'm so scared for them. yes, first of all, my father was a radio announcer. So he had a voice like a king. Okay. And the two boys walked down the hallway.

and they walk into the family room and he goes, boys, sit down. First of all, I'd like to see your license and registration. I'm like, my gosh, dad, please don't do that. I was so embarrassed. Anyways, the oldest boy, the one that was my friend for me, my date, he took out his license. He showed my dad long and short of it. We walked away from the situation, let my dad, you know, rake them over and we got into the car with them. And we, as we were leaving, we realized,

They're really, really nerdy. Like we were just taking this date because they offered car and we could go anywhere we wanted. It's not our parents driving us, right? They have a license anyways. they're way older than you. were way older than us. They had a license and we really didn't have a good time on the date, but we had a good time. Her and I, we had fun.

Brittany Krystantos (23:46.232)

but we kind of in the end weren't thrilled with them. They were too nerdy for us and they didn't make a lot of conversation and they just didn't make a lot of anything. They were just a little too nerdy for us. But in the end, it was a good lesson on the fact that any car is a moving motel. I'll never forget that. so funny. I've never heard an analogy like that. Any car is a moving motel. That just makes me laugh so hard.

The idea of Nikki and some cars, a moving motel. One thing I know about Nikki is she cannot date a nerd. A nerd is not for Nikki. It's not for me. They have to have a really loose, happy, go lucky, funny, light, light of life kind of way of thinking because anything can come out of my mouth at any given time. And they have to be able to take it, you know, and roll with it and roll with it. Take it. Take it and roll with it.

Wise words from Nikki Steele. mean, okay, so we talked about first kiss, first dates, first. Have we talked about first boyfriends yet? No, I want to talk about that. You tell us. I got one of those too. Before we talk about that story, we're going to talk about that. But I want to talk about it because why are we talking about first? Why is it important? I think it's important that people know about the first because not all firsts are good and not all firsts are bad. And the first

actually make a difference in our life. Everything we do, everyone we meet, everything that happens in our lives affects our mental health. Am I right? Absolutely. It defines us. Yes, it defines us. about the fact that I had my first heartbreak when I was 18, 19, and the guy shattered my heart and made me so nervous to fall in love again, to be vulnerable again. I can talk about that because it happened and it affected me. But you know what happened, Nikki?

After that heartbreak, something else happened and made me stronger and be able to trust. And all these bad dates and bad things make me find strength to know now here I'm almost, I'm 26, I'm gonna be 30. In three years, I keep reminding everyone because my life is like moving so fast. She's aging herself though. I'm myself as She's 26, she's gonna be 30. That's what she tells me. That's like me saying I'm 50, but I'm gonna be 60.

Brittany Krystantos (26:07.598)

No, I didn't let my whole life. I'll tell you, I'm doing that because it's a reminder to myself that, Hey, I got to shape it up. Am I right? Like, I understand you. You're, trying to, guide your own life based on the amount of years that you have until your next block, like your 30 until your next, you know, milestone. get it. I get it. I'm also saying that for whoever's listening to this right now, any young girl,

Boy, whoever is listening to us right now talk about our firsts, who may have their next firsts or their, they're gonna have their firsts, their first love, first heartbreak, they're gonna have their first kiss. First drink. First drink, first argument with their parents, first everything. But those moments that are good and bad define us and make us move on. Even though in the moment you may be 16 years old and you had your first heartbreak with some guy from school named Cole.

And you're thinking about him and you're so upset about him. And I'm thinking about that because there's, what's his name from? think what's the name from Zac Efron from high school musicals. It's not cool. No, it's a Zac Efron. No, what's his character's name? I don't know. I used to love high school musical. No, I don't. I hate musicals. High school musical. I'm terrible. I'm age. Yeah. Were they sing the show, you know, once when I was in my life. Okay. Now I need to What's his character's name?

My father come find me. And they stand in the spotlight and then all of a sudden everyone breaks out with dance. And they sing the next whole thing. I can't. It's just a lot of singing. They sing the words, you know? No, not for me, Brittany, not for me. think his name was not Cole. What is it? Now I'm going to be embarrassed now. No, it's OK. You can you can find it. But but but don't be embarrassed because we can't remember things like

Sometimes and it's okay. She's she's searching. I'm searching on trapeze. I'm so wrong. Troy. I'm a whole. All right. age. I've aged. I've aged. I don't know what to say. I've watched that when I was little. Okay. That's how you know that you have like, I forgot. I forgot. I only remember the wiggles as a kid. What else did I watch as a kid? The wiggles fruit salad. Yummy. So

Brittany Krystantos (28:31.68)

Okay, we came to the idea that, okay, Troy, okay? We have our first heartbreak, our first love, and it defines us and we move on and we learn. so, Nikki, you were about to tell us about your first boyfriend, tell us. He is such a sweetheart. I still know him too. And I am just lucky to know him. He is a sweetheart. First boyfriend. First of all, how are you still friends with these people? You know what? I...

There's something wrong with me, guess. I'm not friends with anyone. Well, you're friends with me. I'm saying exes. I know. I'm just throwing that in there. I'm still friends I'm just throwing that in here, Britt. OK, well, I don't know. I'm not friends with him, but I've seen him out in the community. whenever a friend of mine... the community? In the community. And whenever a friend of mine... Up Thornhill. Like recently, had a friend, the mom died. And I know that my girlfriend...

loves this guy. Like she's always adored him. And so I texted him, because I have his number. And I said, that's from years and years years ago. And I said to him, you know, just to let you know, so and so's mom died. Maybe you should give her text just because I know she would really appreciate it from you just because she really, really adored him. Okay. Anyways, he did text her and she said to me,

about a week or two weeks after her mom passed away and after they finished with the funeral and everything, guess who texted me? And I said, yeah, I told him that your mom passed. And she goes, he made my day. So I was so happy to make sure that that, you know, that that happened. But anyways, he was a sweetheart. He was a hockey player. He loved to play hockey, like not professional. He was a kid. He was a kid. He was 15. I was 14. He was my very first boyfriend.

And I saw him every single day, I think for like six months. And over the summer, we had a wonderful time together. And we kissed a lot and we hugged a lot and we cooked together. watched movies. And then I remember there was this one night and I loved my mom's camera because it was the first camera that talked to you. It would say, too dark, use flash. Or it would say, load film now.

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Like it just had these interesting little things. You know, this was technology then. So it was exciting to use the camera. So I used to get him to pose on the couch, not naked, but I would get him to pose on the I found those pictures recently in the last like five years. And I was like, I am freaking out. Like we need to find them. I'm going to bring them over so you can see them. I was wearing like an eighties suit, like track suit with

puffy paint all down one leg and puffy paint all down the second, like the other arm, the left. I just look like a psycho. Okay. When I look back now, my hair was in a banana clip and I was wearing like ice pink lipstick. Okay. Ice pink lipstick. You still wear ice pink. Do I? I do. Yeah. Sometimes you think I look like ice pink? No, no, no, no, no. It's hot. Sparkles. Let's like, I, you know,

I've gotten up to the styles these days. Maybe that's still me stuck in the eighties a little bit, a little bit. But anyways, the earth tones get a little boring once in a while when you're an eighties kid. But anyways, that's my first boyfriend story. He was just a sweetheart Dolly. He would go and he would bring me popsicles from Max Milk. I was just, I just loved him. He was a sweetheart. That's a convenience store, right? Yeah. They changed it. don't have that anymore. Circle K. Who's having fun at Circle K? Like I'm having fun at

Max Milk with the tie on it. Max Milk used to be across from my old high school, Westmount. Okay. And so I remember Max Milk, Yeah, Max Milk. And they had slushies on sale. Buy two, get one free. hush puppy, slushies. But you would say to your friends, meet me at the Max. Yeah, you're sup bro. Let's go to Max tonight for lunch. Yeah, here in Canada, have slushies.

that they don't have in the States. I've never seen. So they have Coca -Cola. They have crush orange crush. They have purple crush. They have sprite. Like they don't have that in the States. They only have the blueberry cherry. We have good flavors. Yeah. Like it's interesting. I just want to say that I did not text my friends saying sup bro. I meant like guys would say that to their friends. could never hear you saying sup. I just want to say that I'm just trying to be cool. Cause I remember like

Brittany Krystantos (33:15.244)

In high school, the guys that we would hang out with would say, sup bro, let's go to the Mac. The Mac. Mac, street. Meet me I never have said sup or what. I don't even think I say what's up. say, when I text you, Nikki, go, hey Nikki, how are you? And I tell you my whole day in a paragraph, go, Nikki, I'm not doing well right now. I'm having a horrible day. This person beside me just pushed me. The driver in front of me is just horrible. Like that's my message is, it's paragraph.

Am I right? Yeah. She, she'll at any given moment I can get a paragraph of something phenomenal, something crazy, something annoying or Nikki, how are you? Yeah. Randomly. I'm a nice person too. I'm so sweet heart. You're so funny. Okay. Before we end this, I want to just, I want to, you know, remind people that the first

our moments in our lives that define us, that sometimes they're good, sometimes they're bad, but they make us who we are. And in those bursts, we're gonna have, you know, bad days. Days where people piss us off. I know I've had the bad day today. Everything seemed to not go my way today. It started with the movie, and I went to the movie tonight. It ended with us. It was really great. Blake Lively did such an amazing job. But...

there was an extra seat beside me because Nikki was supposed to come, but she canceled. We're not getting into that. And so I left the seat. I was like, really happy that the seat beside me was empty. And so two girls were like, Hey, like, this taken? And I'm like, no, you can have it being the nice person I am. And the entire movie, they're talking and eating really smelly food. And yeah, that pissed me off, but we got to move on from it. Don't we? Well, like you were saying, I think that every first

or every experience just helps us get to the next stage, the next experience. And without those experiences of the bad day or the bad experience, you can't really learn to appreciate the good experiences and the good that comes out of life. Right? Exactly. think that's what we're trying to say here is that there are good, there are bad, but

Brittany Krystantos (35:30.574)

We are who we are and these good and bad make us, make us us. Makes me Brittany, makes you Nikki. And it helps us also make comparisons based on what we like and what we don't like. Exactly. So that we know what we want and what we don't want. And I will tell you this at 18 years old being thrown in the air by someone pretending to be Jesus, I did not like that. No, I'm sure you did not. was cursing. I was so mad. And now, sure. Ten years later, I think it's hilarious. Well, I'm glad you can laugh now.

And I'm sure that your foot is happy you're not walking barefoot in the environment. I've never done that again. I'm sure. Crazy. You imagine that happened to you? No, I look at me. I fall everywhere I go. I would be down in five minutes. she would. I just I'm going to do it with her one day. I'm going to take Nicky hiking with a barefoot. That's what we're going to do. I'm going to bring sticks to help me balance. I can just imagine Nicky and sticks.

Anyways, Nikki, any last words before we go to sleep? Because it is 12 o 'clock at night. Yeah, we did this for our listeners. We wanted to make sure we got this one in for you guys. And I think the last piece of advice in terms of this episode, this podcast, just to tell you that the only one that can take care of you is you. And you need to be the one that truly makes yourself happy. You're the only one that can do that. So these firsts help us to achieve that.

so that we find out how we want to pivot in our lives and the direction that we take is based on choices, based on what we've experienced, right? Right, I agree with you. And you're also sharing from your experience and I'm sharing from my experience. And I know for a fact that who I was yesterday and who I was the year before is not the same. And I've grown and I'm growing every day. I'm evolving. And there's moments where I am so lost.

I am hurt. am broken. I am I'm crying. I am broken. But I said that again because I want you to know that things are not perfect all the time. And as a mental health advocate who always says, okay, you know what? We're going to get through this. We're going to get through this. I want you to know the real me. The fact is that I am living my experiences. am I am up. I have ups and downs. It's a roller coaster for me. And I'm learning the same lesson that

Brittany Krystantos (37:55.864)

These firsts have defined me some in really bad ways and some in really good ways, but I'm learning to accept it. I think that's what this is about, acceptance and forgiveness. Because I will tell you, I had a hard time forgiving my first boyfriend who broke up with me on tech, who I thought I loved. Wow, that's harsh. I will tell you that I had a hard time forgiving the people that hurt me, the friendship.

the boyfriends, the guys that have lied to me, the people that have crossed me because I'm such a good person. I'm always caring and giving. I'm sometimes naive because I don't see the bad in people. I always see the good and that has always, always brought me down and brought me to those experiences. But I will tell you, I've not changed. I am still me. I love people for who I, for who they are. I will love again and love again.

and I will not change the person I am within myself, not be changed based on other people's actions. I am who I am. I will love, I will care. I will bring the bad and the good into who I really am. don't, so I think I'm saying this because I don't want anyone out there to change. If you have love in your heart, love again. If you've been broken down, get back up and keep going, right? absolutely.

Every single day is a new day. Every day is a chance to wake up and be happy and try and move forward. And I've had many, many days in my life where I've had a string of very bad situations and you just have to keep going and you have to know that everything does change. What comes up does come down. What comes down does go up.

I mean, it is, it's, ebbs and flows, right? That's how life is. agree with you. So with that said, I think we left that on a really positive note. Thank you everyone for tuning in, listening to this episode about the first in our life. And I hope your first is great, right? Yes. I hope your first is better than our first. And I hope your first is not as good because we learn. And so with that being said, tune in to next week's episode and please.

Brittany Krystantos (40:20.034)

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Brittany Krystantos (41:47.042)

That's it for today's episode of Dear Brittany. I'm looking forward to my chai tea latte and cuddles with my dog, Charlie. I will be whipping up some new fantastic episodes where we can really dig into it together. Lots of love and until next time, sincerely, Britt.